i need the task

It’s already comes to the end of month, for those who are working must be waiting for this time because the $$$$$ has come. Me, who already working is happy as well. Do anyone don’t like money? I’m pretty sure that everyone loves it so much. But the thing that make me unhappy is I feel like “makan gaji buta”. This week is the 4^th week I was not assigned with any task. The development for demo project has been stopped and now everybody is working hard in designing the real project. As I’m still new in this company and fresh graduate, so won’t involve in designing the system. So, I have to wait until they finalize the design, then I can start to work for the development. The last general election has delay the operation because the project is for the government. Any decision on the project are depend on government people.

So, untill now, I don’t have any work to do. Others suggesstion, try to look for work. Yes, I did so. I realize that so many things I have to learn especially on technologies used in my company. I’m so eager to learn all these things and try to grab as mush knowledge as I can. For the first two weeks, I enjoy it and feel a bit relax. But after a while, I’m starting to get bored and feel uncomfortable with the environment. Come to work with doing nothing. While everybody around me are busy doing their work, I feel ashamed and useless because I don’t contribute anything towards company. People around me might think badly about me while looking at me of do nothing. Perhaps, people might don’t say that but my heart said so. I admit that lately, I’ve spend most of my time with surfing for unnecessary thing and chatting. And I know I shouldn’t do that in workplace. But why it does happen? Because I’m getting bored and sick, not with the work but with the current situation. I’m not asking for it ayway and that is not I wanted for my career lilfe.

I am at the beginning of career path, and I want to gain as much as experience that I could have. Now, I am a programmer(huh.. what a tough job for me) though it’s not my dream job as well. I have my own career objective, I know what I want to be, it just the time does not come yet. So, I need the experience and hope it will help me in future. As I was an IT graduate, it’s normal for people like us working in doing program. But it just for beginning not forever. I know my level and I know my ability. I know what I have and haven’t. Also need to consider what I like and dislike. I’m not an “A” programmer but I challenge myself for it. Maybe I cannot be expert but at least I can be good in that area. I know I can do the given task. But what I afraid of is that I am not sure whether I can complete it in a short period as they request because that is normally happen in this company. I am a kind of person who learn from the experience. I do it , then I learn it, From the error I got, then I solve it. From the example of the code, then I modify it to create my own program. That is the cycle of learning that I have. I can do but it takes time. Is it acceptable? Yet, I still waiting for the task (the challenge I have to face… hope I can do that).

p/s : this entry also i wrote during working time.... hehehehe no work to do lor